Fri 7 Mar 2003
In January, Siemens announced a new brand of ‘fashion accessory phones’ called XELIBRI. The idea is that they have limited functionality but radically different industrial design making them more fashion accessories rather than strictly the business-end of cellphones. The idea would be that people would need multiple phones, like shoes, to match all of their fashion ‘needs’.
Apparently, Siemens is trying to carve out another niche market (taking changeable face-plates to the next dimension), and that’s a fine thing. Word is that the four models are being built by different ODM’s, such as Microcell.
Their new web site, https://www.xelibri.com/com/ is up and running now and taking pre-orders for the first four devices. After a brief tour of the site, however, I can tell that I’m clearly not supposed to be around these devices and I’m not hip enough to even ‘get it’. I wasn’t sure if the site was supposed to be ultra-cool or just insulting, and it seems almost like a strange parody on a previously conservative company.
“The trousers are sharp, the shirt’s just fine, the shoes are dapper and the watch strap used to be a crocodile. But the question remains, will the PCD (Personal Communication Device) match your magnificence? Pretty important if your’re (sic) doing the rounds of the clubs tonight…”
I guess if you’re in touch with the Christina Aguilera lifestyle, then this would be pretty important to you. So far, sounds pretty fashionable.
“Our well paid scientists have developed technolgies no-one ever thought would exist ‘Personal Communication Devices’ (PCDs) that use unique ‘conversation through air technology’. Just take an XELIBRI PCD. Dial a number that corresponds to that of another device : the owner of which can be almost anywhere, indoors or out, in good or bad weather. Then wait one moment. When they answer you can talk freely and without inhibition. Check your hair in a mirror and dry your palms on your backside, because you are about to meet tomorrow!”
We’ll leave my hair and backside out of this… but doesn’t ‘conversation through air’ sound like basic cellular service that’s been around since the mid-1980’s? Are these partygoers taking one to many illicit substances at the clubs that they’ve become unaware of cellphones’ ability to communicate indoors or out, regardless of weather???
“In return for a substantial pile of money, David LaChapelle has now shot the first Xelibri Calender. The result is no mere collection of pictures. Rather, images to take your breath away. Stunning PCDs (Personal Communication Devices), worn by fairly good-looking people in mundane situations.”
I am always looking for another calendar featuring fairly good-looking people carrying their phones in mundane situations… or was that mundane people in fairly good-looking situations…
“Move the mouse over XELIBRI 4 and see the close up. Note: Women may find this process arousing!”
OK, now we’ve just reached the point where either they think their target market is made up of complete idiots, or else someone was drinking just a little too much good German beer at the PR firm.
I suddenly care a lot less whether these phones are ever actually released.
